I Think I'm BULLIED

Assalamualaikum and good midnight. Its literally 12.30 am right now and I have to go to work tomorrow morning. I've been kind of weird these days(its kindda ordinary actually). I don't know it's some kind of stress or what. But even i can feel that I'm being weird. It's not just me, people around me, even my boss said so. Luckily though he's good enough to just laugh it off. hahaha.. It's been about 4-5 months since I've started working. I'm a cute kindda crazy salesgirl of a hardware shop near my house. I got that job thanks to my dad, who accidently knew that they need a helping hand there at the hardware and I got lucky that they accept me eventhough I know nothing about a hardware stuff. I've learned a lot this few months that my boss and even the clerk there would praise me telling me that i'm a fast leaner though I'm kindda crazy. Seriously, my boss told me that there's something wrong with me. And I think I know why I'm behaving this way.

When I started working there, there's a "boy", I don't even know how old(older than me of course) would always made me do his work. He would always ask me to "help" his work. And you know in a hardware, the hard works are for the boys to do and the girls would just be the cute sales girl. lol Since he would always ask me to "help" him, I guess you would know what he would ask me. Yep!! He would ALWAYS ask me to help him carry some heavy stuff. And there's a day where we were asked to re-arranged and check the stock, there were like many boxes around we have to move around, when he saw me carry a kindda heavy box, instead of helping me, he took a lot lighter box to move. Can you freaking see how "gentleman" he is??!

That's not the only case!! He also like to hit my forehead. Maybe you don't think it's a big deal, but it is to me.. i have a sensitive skin people!! moreover working at the hardware made it worse, with the dust as thick as whatever, I have to stand under strong sunlight(I don't freaking need photosynthesis) etc btw, like I said he like to hit my forehead and i hate it so much. When I told him to not do it, he would ignore me and guess what, he hit me after me saying that, fxck him!! hahaha. There's one time when I was really stress and he made it worse, and I seriously cried there. I fxcking cried in front of them and they would just laugh it of.. Guess what, fxck them!! hahahaha.. Since I'm the maknae there, there's nothing I can do. hmmmm.

Back to me being weird, I think I'm weird since then. In the deepest of my mind I fell like I'm bullied. And I know it's not just my feeling but I AM BULLIED!! Since then, I easily get scared of people especially when people quietly come beside me. Even my boss would ask what's with me getting scared easily and i would just laugh it off. hahahahaha..

I've been planning to update since last month but you know, someone inside me would ask me to do it later, and finally here I'm after a few weeks since my plan. hahahah. There's a secret I'm hiding.. Actually, he "boy" who bullied me were fired last month. hehehehe.. Eventhough he was fired I'm still afraid. I know I'm not terribly bullied but I just can't forget about it. Even little thing make me scare. How to overcome this?? OMG!!

Kbye!! I'm just ending my update here this absurb. Hahahaha.. Toodles, Assalamualaikum.

#mewb

Just Updating.

Assalamualaikum, Hi, Hello! Its been a few days since I want to update my blog. Berapa hari ni sis rasa tak aman, rasa gelisah like nak gila. hahaha. Berhambur jak ayat sis sekarang ni, tak tau la knp. Sis rasa sis nak sambung tulis fanfic. Di blog fanfic sis ada satu story jak yg sis prnah upload. Sis rasa nak buat cerita baru lagi tpi sis belum ada idea la nak buat fanfic baru. Oleh sebab sis ada banyak masa sekarang ni, sis nak aktifkan balek blog tu. Lagipun view blog tu agak tinggi jugak walaupun baru ada satu story. Support sis ok! Apa lagi sis nak story morry ni yaa?? Tadi banyak gila konon story mau share di sini, sekarang i feel lost, sis tak tau nak cerita apa.. hmmmm~ btw, sis dah giveup nak belajar chinese sendiri. Sis rasa susah sangat nak belajar language tu. Actually sis makin rasa tak tentu ni since semalam. Sis rasa sis tak patut jumpa someone tu semalam. Don't worry, be happy. Sis bukan jumpa orang sembarang. Sis jumpa someone who WAS special to me but now idk. Who is he to me and who am I to him? His ONE stupid question last night made me like this, this one fricking long day. Soalan tu bukan mainan la wei. Come on la. Sampai sis hilang selera time breakfast. But then, sis balas dendam jugak time dinner, sis makan maggi dua bungkus. muahahahaha. Tapi seriously, sis kiena fikiran jugak la dengan soalan tu. apa soalan tu? I'm not telling you. hahahahah. Sis suka sangat buat evil laugh. Actually dah beberapa hari dah sis tak betul. hehehe. Kejap sis ketawa, kejap sis mood sedih, kejap sis tak da mood, kejap sis mood makan, kejap sis rasa nak tidur jak satu hari. Kenapa tu yaa? Sis rasa update pendek jak la dulu kali ni, sis tak tau nak kongsi cerita apa lagi. I lie!! sis tak ada cerita lagi dah nak luah actually. muahahha. lot and lots of love for me. hehehe. till we meet again. Jalga, bye, Assalamualaikum.

#mewb

New Year Nightmare

Assalamualaikum and hi. hehehe.. I don't think it's too late to say 'happy new year' hehehe. Well, you know " BETTER LATE THAN NEVER ", I like that phrase like crazy. It always help me anytime anywhere whatever~ hehehe.. Look like I'm still happy-go-lucky writing a post. Sometimes, I wonder why can't I be happy like this in real-fricking-life? brrrrr~ That sucks like crazy. Masuk bulan Mac dh ni, guess what? AKU STILL BAMBONG! Oh My God! Tanpa aku sedari aku berenti kerja time ekonomi tengah teruk. I was like what the hell?! This shouldn't be happening!! NOOOOOOOO! But what-freaking-ever, idk. I think I gain back my weight this whole time I'm staying at home. grrrr~ Don't worry, be happy, I've been happy this whole time. I get to eat what I want to eat, I get to do what I want to do. I get to catch back on my kpop life. muahahaha. I think I'm going to learn Mandarin this mean time. Well, I think it's a great thing to let time past, besides my dad also agree saying chinese are one of the languages most used in this cruel world we're living in. So, permulaan untuk aku belajar mandarin nie, guess what benda terbaik yang aku buat untuk "biasa" dengan language tu?? Aku tengok filem Cina tau kh?!! Benda terbaiknya ialah, aku nonton yang starring nya k-idol jak. hohoho. Fun way to learn especially when I'm going to learn it myself. hehehe.. Since I manage to learn Hangul by myself why not try it again this time right. Selain dapat belajar walaupun siiiiiikit-sikit, dapat 'lepas rindu' dengan idol-idol yang disayangi dan dirindui. muahahahha. After almost a year, akhirnya 'jumpa' dengan YiFan, LuGe, EXOdeul, etc. muahahha. tak ingat kalau mau taip everyone of them.

Personal life?? hmmm?? Apa yaa?? Entah lah.. Tengah tak da life sekarang ni. And tak plan pun mau buang masa dengan yeochin-namchin ni. Malas. Not in the freaking awesome mood. Tak ada faedah yang baik pun. Malas mau jaga perasaan orang ego yang tak penting. Buat apa jaga jodoh orang, nanny kh? Kalau ada jodoh, ada lh. Kalau tak da, apa boleh buat kan? Nanti lah baru cari. hahaha.. Speaking of stupid jodoh, teringat pulak satu kejadian yang mentrauma kan diri ini untuk berkapel ni.

Suatu zaman batu dulu(actually awal bulan ni), time tu aku balik dari job-hunting di bandar yang panas brrrr tu. Balik naik bas, duduk betul-betul belakang driver bas tu. tak payah lah bagitau bas mana satu kan, hehehehe.. Kalau ikutkan aku la, sebenarnya aku tak suka memang naik bas tu, sesalu aku elak, tapi tak tau lah kenapa hari tu, aku naik jak bas tu(sebenarnya aku mau balek awal, MENGANTOK! MAU TIDUR, mengantok gila hari tuu, tak tidur malam sebelum tu kalau tak silap, biasa la), Time area SMK Kuhara, PAKCIK tu tegur, cakap macam kenal, oleh sebab nak respect orang tua, layan la, cakap pakcik tu salah orang whatever. Tapi pakcik tu suka pulak menanya itu ini,sabar jak, layan jak. dia tegur jugak kenapa tak pernah nampak aku naik basnya. hahahaha. aku naik bas tu kalau desperate jak macam hari tu lh. So, cerita-cerita dengan pakcik tu, dia bilang ada tauke satu kedai ni, suruh dia cari orang yang mau kerja, aku lah konon ni dia nak recommend so, dia suruh ikut turun bandar balik dia bawa pergi tempat tu, kerja restoran dekat stesen konon. Aku yang nunchi-eobseo time tu, ikut jak lah, cari kerja kan. Otw turun bandar pulak, pakcik tu tukar cerita lagi konon ada ada satu lagi kedai yang suruh dia cari orang, kerja cashier konon kedai karaoke di sabindo, Kena fikiran jugak lah, kedai yang dia cakap tu, rupanya kedai karaoke, tempat orang minum-minum. hmmm. Sampai bandar, dia ajak pergi lunch dulu time tu memang time lunch pun jam 12.00 tengah hari. First tu, aku tolak jugak la walaupun hakikatnya perut aku menyanyi nasib naik perut aku mute time tu. Pakcik tu bawa makan mee laksa di Fajar. Memang sedap la mee tu. Guess what, otw pergi makan tu and otw pergi kedai di sabindo tu, punya lah pakcik tu punya cerita mati, antara benda paling aku benci yang ada pada lelaki ni,, HOSAE! bm nya, CAKAP BESAR! Macam apa jak dia situ, aku pun malas mau layan, diam-diam jak. Fikir pakcik tu diam lah jugak, rupanya tidak. Tetap jugak dia dengan hosae tak guna nya tu. pffft. Cut to the stupid chase, time otw balik rumah, pakcik tu jugak yang hantar, tapi aku suruh hantar dijalan besar jak, jangan harap aku mau tunjuk rumah dimana, no-freaking-way. otw balik tu, pakcik tak guna mau suruh aku pergi rumahnya, cuci and gosok bajunya, excuse me!!! kau siapa?!! aku iya-iya jak malas mau layan, bisa gila. Sampai jak di rumah, aku buat benda paling penting, CUCI TANGAN sebab dia pegang tangan ku, serious, aku panggil dia PAKCIK!!! but still, dia pegang tangan ku. TT geli betul time sampai rumah. lepas cuci tangan benda paling penting kedua, bagi FLIGHT MODE hp. kenapa lah aku bagi dia number ku yang betul. TT Tapi aku rasa aku salah bagi dia numberku sebab tak da kesan dia call pun. hahaha.. What can I say lah kan, aku bukan ingat sangat number ku pun, Syukur sangat. And that ladies and gentlemen aku trauma gila mau kenal orang, trauma mau jumpa orang takut jadi begitu lagi. SERAM!! Everytime teringat benda ni, jantung ku ni, macam apa jak. Sejak kejadian, aku makin jarang keluar rumah, aku makin melekat dengan hand-freaking-phone and trauma mau naik bas.

Sebab tulah dari kecil lagi kita diajar jangan ikut orang sembarangan tapi aku ni, hah! padan muka. At least dapat lah ambil pengajaran dari kejadian ni. memang aku tak ikut orang sembarangan, tak layan orang sembarangan, keep a save distance from stranger. Harap tak da lah orang yang jadi mangsa pakcik tu. Harap-harap pakcik tu, insaf-insaf lah. hmmm. Seriously, seram.

Akhir kata, perasan kah, aku tak guna short form dalam post ni? Sebab aku mau biasakan diri guna full form. Sebab? No specific reason at all. Saja jak. Just making good things as a healthy habit. hehehe. First post 2017, done! It feel like an achievement. Thanks baca dari nonsense hingga nighmare hingga trust hingga the end! idk.

Assalamualaikum! Bye! Jalga!

#mewb